We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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