she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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