i may or may not be watching the land before time
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
