Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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