You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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