Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
