I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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