The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
