whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
