You just made me feel so damn special
He kissed a someone with a penis
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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