when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize