that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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