Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
