he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
