Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I have fence marks all over my body
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Never joke about your clitoris.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
