K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
