Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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