i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize