You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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