sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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