I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
