I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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