Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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