Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize