i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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