bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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