dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
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She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
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As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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