Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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