i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
