She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
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