so let's talk penis.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm sobbing to NWA
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
