There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
