What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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