i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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