definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
