I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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