don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
