Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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