i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize