I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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