If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
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We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize