you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Sober January is a disaster.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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