would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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