he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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