I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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