I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
