ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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