something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
