we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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