Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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