thus making me awesome and them whores
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
