I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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