She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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