apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize