Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
