I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
