He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
