she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
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You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
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And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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