You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
