And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
