Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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