Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
